After 5 years of lifeguarding, the day that was long overdue finally came. When I had to fail a young girl because she was pushing off the bottom of the lake floor in an attempt to pass the swim test, she called me the B word and splashed me. My first instinct was to make her embarrassed and use her as an example so that all of the other children would know not to disrespect the lifeguards. I took a deep breath and tried to explain to her that I could not let her pass because I cared about her safety and that I did not appreciate her name calling.
After she stormed off and talked to another grown adult, she walked back up to me and asked for my forgiveness.
now pause...
I REALLY did not want to just let this girl get away with her disrespect and honestly, I did not want to let her back into the lake. I had to remind myself that I was talking to a young girl and I could use this situation to teach her a lesson.
After she apologized, I told her that I understood that she called me that name out of anger and frustration. I then told her that her anger was not handled well and that she needed to learn how to control it better. She was of fifth grade aged and I warned her that in High School, not everyone will be able to empathize with her and they will choose to be physical or abusive as a response to her temper.
Although I do not know if any of my words will get through to her, I hope that the last thing I told her did. As I let her go back into the lake, I told her, "Kind is cool". I had discovered during her time out from the lake that her parents had abandoned her at a young age and she had spent a few years in an orphanage. I came to the conclusion that her temper and disobedience was a cry for attention that she did not get enough of at a young age. So while she may use crude language and bullying as a way to get attention, I hope that she understands that by being kind, she could find a great group of friends that will love and accept her.
It is so important for us to try and understand where people are coming from before we respond to how they treat us. If I had not taken a step back and tried to get through to this girl, I may have just became another person in her life that gave up on her or judged her for her actions without reading into them. I do not believe that this girl is bad. I believe that she had bad things happen to her and she has been reacting to them poorly. Hopefully more people in her life will be able to step back as well and positively change her life.
I will never be sure if I taught her a lesson that day, but I know she taught me one. I now have a better approach on how to deal with people who are rude or people that I clash with. If everyone could try to understand where people are coming from, we would be a more supportive and happy world.
Sincerely,
Sidney
