WARNING: VERY AWKWARD MIDDLE SCHOOL PICTURES GALORE
If you were to go back in time and ask my 6th grade self if she would still have the same friends, she would have told you "of course!" while she pointed out all of her 'best friend forever' bracelets and turned around to pinky promise her three closest friends.
The magic of being young is believing that everyone you meet cares about you enough to stay in your life forever. This magic wears off gradually. It is not something that hits you overnight. With every flakey friend and disappointment in a relationship, you eventually realize that your forever people are rare and that most people you surround yourself with are temporary. While some may see this as a grim view on life, I like to believe that it is a great way to remind yourself to hold on to people why you still have them and to prepare your heart for the inevitable.
It was not until my sophomore year of high school that I realized that I had wasted most of my freshman year working way too hard at keeping friendships that I had simply grown out of. Although I am uncertain, I think this is harder on girls. We want to believe with every ounce of our being that the girls we spent middle school days with braiding each others hair and sharing details about our crushes will still be in our lives during the four toughest years to be a teen. The trouble with this hope is that, just like you, the girls you spent middle school with have changed a lot too.
I remember walking past my best friend of 5 years in the hallways and I was reminded of all the nights we spent at each others houses talking about cute boys and watching movies our parents said we were too young to watch. I suddenly realized that I never found out if she got the guy she crushed on in grade school, or if she ever made amends with her dad. Although the downfall of our friendship was not messy, I found myself upset. Here was a girl I used to know everything about and now we do not even say "hey" to each other in the hallways. What kind of society did we grow up in that made it that easy get rid of people?
With the bittersweet feelings of senior year, I made it a goal to catch up with all of my friends that were there for me in my acne- covered, Jonas Brother listening, feather hair-clip wearing, self. Once I did this, I found closure. All through High School, I wondered if I had made a mistake not trying to carry on our friendships. Although they were all still great, fun people, I realized that growing apart was God's plan. While we were still able to laugh about the good times we had together, I could not help but notice that we were simply different people now. We changed, became better versions of our preteen selves, and grew apart. And now I am finally okay with that.
So here is to you, the people I once knew, the people that loved my odd, pre-teen self, the people that allowed me to discover for myself what growing up meant. If there is anything I could tell all the friends that became people I once knew, it would be this: Just because we no longer talk and we no longer know anything about each other, the promises I made to you when we were young still stand. If you ever need help, I will be your girl.If you ever need advise, I will try to gather up alI the wisdom I can. If you have a secret, I promise not to tell a soul. Our friendships may have broken, but my loyalty never did. We may have changed, but my belief and confidence in the person you will become did not. Here's to you, my lovely childhood friends, thank you for growing up with me.
Sincerely,
Sidney
